The Neighbors must hate me at night.

Fried Zucchini in ranch from Black Angus...That's what im craving right now.

My roommates and i are SUCH clowns so we were talkin about condoms yesterday...hahaha, and so he only rolls around with magnum gold wrappers? and their are Trojans Enz in the blue wrapper MYSTERIOUSLY popping around in our place like everywhere.

1. We were trying to distinguish the difference between the two. So this clown cracks one open, unrolls it down and asks is this the normal length of dude's "John Wayne Wit It" like i just now from the 2 and 3/4's men i been with...they were all hung and well...we didn't use them.

2. We were trying to figure out where all of these condoms came from! He uses gold wrapper and im not out sexin. So we were definitely puzzled, lol.

So it got hella late last night and the unwrapped condom was on the floor chillin so this guy picks it up and throws it at me...Yellin "John Wayne Wit It...you better call up Ur lil Daddy" and im running around screaming for him to shut up cuz i hate when he teases me about him! so time goes by and the condom goes missin! and im like "BRO, where's the condom!" and he's just cracking up and i look at my door, and he has the shit stretched over the doorknob!

So i take the shit off my door put a lil lotion in it and chase him around with it...ya'll shoulda heard him yelling! "come on bro, key come on!" til i sling shot it into his neck and dipped to my room and locked that shit....[yes that shit LOCKS!] and he was rattlin my door for a good ass minute...and then it stopped...and i heard him sit in the livin room so i open the door and the condom...on my door knob AHHHH-gain.

I take the stupid contraption off but this time it had HELLA more white stuff in...like WTF when this happen....so i take it off and run to his door knob and try to squeeze all the shit on his door knob and put the condom on his door knob but this big ass safety playin football dude runs up on me pulls the open end and we were shouting for each other to let go and i dont know who lets go first but it popped and all the lotion ended up splattering ALL over me....and he just laughs, and laughs, and laughs....SO STUPID UGH!



All over my face, my chest, shirt, jeans AND shoes....so i ask this guy...did ONE squirt of lotion get ALL over like this. and he was like when i was rattling ur door for hella I jacked off in it!

I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pissed like YOU DID WHAT!?!

UNFORGIVABLE!!!!!

He locked himself in his room dyin and i was stompin around the apartment pissed the hell off then he came out his room with this like belly aching laugh...like holding stomach, head cocked back and was like "It's mixed with water"



Early april fucking fools!